This morning

The paramedics refused to take her to hospital, they suggested Dad left the house, she was as much a danger to him there as she is herself.

He stayed at mine and with 10minutes of him arriving the phones started. Drunk messages being left on house phones and mobiles. At about 12:30am my mobile goes and it's my brother this time. Mums rang him and told him Dads walked out, she's too drunk to comprehend that they are already separated just living in the same house also too drunk to realise she was letting my brother know she was drunk.

He starts yelling at me, I tell him '1 minute' I needed to get out of the bed which was easier said then done as I had a not so small child in with me. I go to the office and answer him again and again I get "what the fuck is happening" I say it's late, mums drunk, dads hear what else do you want to know. It seems the drunk bit was a revelation to him he had as ever bought mums lies and thinks me and Dad are conspiring.

I wake dad and I whisk I hadn't because for the next 30 minutes I watch him cry on the phone while he tries to get a word in edge ways as my brother rants. He thinks we are all useless, he thinks we should drag her to AA and make her go, he is flying her down there and going to make her stop once and for all!

He just doesn't get that preventing her from drinking doesn't fix the problem, until she accepts she is an alcoholic and does it herself anything else is just vanity.

The calls continued until almost 3am and then sleep was in short supply as I worried most of the night what harm she might do to herself.

Today she is just aggressive and full of blame, I'm keeping out of the way, I'm not feeling I can deal with it other than being a support to Dad. Brother has sent tickets and she leaves tomorrow for 2 weeks of being watched and taken to AA daily, she doesn't know it yet.

And again

A year and a day on.

It was dads birthday,the day the business closed, the day I saw my dad cry, the day I had my mother arrested for assaulting me and then had her sectioned.

So much has happened in a year but clearly nothing has changed, last week she swore on my children's lives she wasn't drunk, I didn't believe her but I held the guilt of the vague possibilty I might be wrong.

Right now I'm waiting to see if she will be admitted, arrested or committed, worse still refused treatment because she drunk.

She's tried to attack dad, he called from his bedroom scared and not knowing what to do for the best.

I think tonight is going to be a long night.