Ashes scattered and arseholeness

Too much on my plate again and not wishing to burden others around me, keeping a smile on my face instead. the good news is Mum's ashes have finally been scattered in the garden of remembrance.Its taken nearly a year to get the family to agree and on her birthday My brother finally agreed to let it happen. I had wanted it to be done for then but at least its done now. Mum's place has been sold and disliking the splurge on a new car and holiday with the girl friend by Dad. I know its his money now but I feel like he has no regard for others and even referring to them as well earned treats. Dad is spending so much time with the girlfriend and only seeing the children as the exception. Last week I had to bite me tongue when he announced he would see the kids Friday as the GF was busy. The eldest is finding it hard, small details like his screen saver changing to being GF and not attending events, performances etc that previously he would never miss is starting to drive a rift. My brother is at the height of his arseholeness. Turns out he has hacked Dads email account and read emails from me and dad and taken exception to what has been written whilst wont taken any criticism for breaching dads privacy!I of course am shouldering the blame from his point of view. Eldest child has also had an accident that whilst nothing serious means an operation tomorrow which is causing them great anxiety and worry over. Wishing it could of been an immediate op but instead we are having to wait for an infection to clear first. For those of you with children I'm sure you can appreciate the anxiety, worry and want to wrap them up and make everything better. instead I'm having to smile and hand out the pain killers, keep them distracted and not show I'm so worried. The husband is playing his usual unhelpful self. Its like managing another child which I could so do without at the moment.