Yesterday I was woken by hubby's hand between my thighs, im shocked but I really dont want to hurt him, things have at least become understandable between us, so I pretend I'm still asleep and turn away from him, he starts to rub my back so I get up to go pee and then hide in bathroom until he goes to make coffee.
He knows 4 years of rejection and excuses have brought us to here but I think todays last marriage counselling has him desperate to get a positive outcome.
Nothing was said all day, it was a busy day with a BBQ and a party.
Back at home drunk, I was dancing, been at party all day, he steps up and take hold of me, I try to stay with the moment, I want to try and get past this. Maybe if I can just let go of this hurt and fear of rejection we can move on.
As he touches me I burst into tears, the tears turn into uncontrollable sobs.
I lie on the sofa crying, he says sorry and goes to bed leaving me to cry.
In 30 minutes we go to our last session, we haven't spoken since last night. I feel sick (partially the hangover) I don't want to deal with this. I want to hide.
2 comments:
This very situation happens with me too. I have the same reaction. Hugs sweetie.
I wish you could feel the hug my heart wishes it could give you...
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