Quick update....
Mother
Still not speaking, as ever she bent things in her head and thinks its all me. I called her last week to clarify exactly where things stood. She says "i dont understand as im beng nice to you and want to be your friend". I keep it calm and straight to the point and explain that this couldnt be the case as the last contact I had from her she was abusive and cruel. I said either you were drunk and that is inexcusable or you were rude and abusive which is inexcusable. We havent spoken since.
Ive been to seen a cousellor for families with addiction problems, more to keep Dad happy as Im confident Im doing the right thing and thankfully they agreed with me. Tough love is the only way to go. Being kind is only going to kill her.
Dad
He seems to of got some confidence back, he is looking for his own place now and I hope he goes for it, only thing that is holding him back is my mother and brother. Brother is back believing everything my Mother says so dad is left as the villian. I have a horrible feeling from reading between the lines he is about to engage solicitors on behalf of my Mother instead of letting them just sort things between themselves. Its going to cause alot of pain especially for her as it will force Dads hand for a divorce.
Work
Things are tough at the moment, but hopefully in the next month or so all the hard work will pay off.
Marriage
Last 2 counselling session have been alone. It makes such a statement going to work on a partnership alone. Last week I was looking for deodrant and discovered lube in Hubbys wardrobe when I got back from trip away, it had moved the next day and so had the deodrant. He was packing to go away so I opened the case to grab some deo and found condoms instead.
and before you gasp and say hipocrit im not after his blood for it I just thought it would give i a spring board to talk. I asked him why he had them, he says they were from when we had sex last. I say they cant be as the last time I borrowed this case you said the same and that was a half used pack plus the exp date is 2014 and ive had the coil in since 2008, so unless NASA are making his condoms they were bought 2010 earliest but more likely this year. He has since defend his corner with the 'posh wank' argument which I stated that a pos wank is an urban mith for people found with condoms.
I plan to talk more with him, ive had a chance to think things through and I want this to give us a chance to move forward.
I told the marriage counsellor about it all this week. Her parting words were... i think its time you started looking after yourself.
Ending on a positive note....
My children are great, they give me so many reasons to smile. (and ive fallen for my lover)
1 comment:
Yeah, your brother has fallen prey to your mother's charms. He is also a co-dependent who wants to enable his mother so he can swoop in and rescue the day. Over and over.
Your father would be infinitely better off to move out without any hesitation or regret on his part.
Your husband is definitely cheating, and you can tell him to pack his bags...for good since he can't be bothered to lie properly, let alone go to a marriage counseling.
Your children are your saving grace but you must make sure to break the cycle with yourself so they do not continue the cycle.
You're doing very well. Don't give up.
Post a Comment