Last couple of weeks Mum has been living with us. Not really a choice I wanted to make but the house has sold and neither of their new places are ready yet and I couldn’t see her out on the street. Dad’s staying at a hotel and using my house like a hotel for food and laundry.
Since moving in Mum has been petty down obviously the losing the house and realisation of the separation sinking in. She was blind drunk the day she arrived but I decided to turn a blind eye to it as I had warned her if I catch her drinking at my place I wouldn’t hesitate to throw her out and I really wanted to give her a chance. Whilst it’s been emotionally draining and the house has been upside down, her stuff everywhere I was pleased our relationship was improving.
I got back from work early, I’ve been feeling unwell so I was heading to the Doctors. As I walked in the door the smell of cigarette smoke hit me and incensed me instantly. We don’t smoke and I don’t allow anyone to smoke in the house , a rule my mother is well aware of. I headed to the kitchen and my feet crunch on broken glass that is scatter throughout. The back door is unlocked and wide open but no sign of my mother. I head upstairs and the smell of smoke increases and so does my anger. The bathroom door was ajar and the sink full of ash where she had clearly been smoking.
She’s fast asleep in one of the kids bedrooms. There’s a bin next to the bed that she’s vomited in and missed it equally and the floor is covered. I just start screaming at her. I’m so angry, tears are running down my face and I can feel my fists clench. She can hardly speak and she keeps falling back asleep as I ask her why the fuck has she been smoking in my house. I storm out the room and go to calm down and await her coming to explain herself. She doesn’t come so I head back to see her before I’m late for my appointment but find her fast asleep and I can’t rouse her.
I go to my appointment and call Dad, we arrange to meet back at the house, I need help to deal with her. She’s fast asleep again, clearly too drunk to have a guilty conscience. Dad manages to wake her up and she denies smoking and drinking. I make her take a breathalyser and she fails it but she continues to say she hasn’t drank. As she sits up you can see she has vomited all over herself and the bed. I feel so hurt by her continuance to lie at this point, i give her one last chance to be honest and sort this out but she refuses. I tell her to pack and get out.
After reflecting and calming I decide to let her stay the night and move her out tomorrow as im frightened to leave her alone so drunk. But after hearing her trying to tell my son I was kicking her out for no reason I found a hotel down the road and Dad was taxis driver for her.
As she went out the house i was trying my best to hold the tears in and failing badly.
Today she still refuses to admit it, she has told me brother that I jut flew into a rage about a broken glass and threw her out, as ever it seems he believes her and his abusive messages don’t help with how I’m feeling.
Thankfully last night and tonight YSL has had open arms for me and offered me much comfort. Hopefully she will be in her own place by next week but I suspect that mean she will be smoking and drinking until her hearts’ content or stops.