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Saturday 30 January 2010

21years.... and counting

I told the husband it was over in September, but i also told him in January, the previous Dec, the spring before that...so many times... but im a fool and I'm frightened.

It's hard, my friends say just leave but how can I, children and home are more important than me, I cant break up the family just because I'm not happy??? he must still be happy to be clinging on to me despite that I tell him how sad I am, how miserable he makes me. I feel guilty for wanting more. I dont feel he knows me but.... the kids mean everything to me...more than me being me.

Dont get me wrong I love him, Ive been with him more than half my life, it will be so hard to be without him, he has been there as I grew up and i always thought i would grow old with him but now I need to leave him, now I only see him as a friend and not one Id sopend the night with.

3 years of begging for sex and attention has taken its toll. 10 Years of him hating what I do for work has worn me thin. I feel unattractive, invisible and beyond parenting and domestic skills surplus to requirement.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this sounds very familiar to me but luckily I managed to break free and am so much happier now.