Thank god for NV! 4th night of not being able to sleep, I've been up from 3am tonight, 2am last night and the same the other 2 nights. Too much going on in my head to rest but being so tired isn't helping me deal with stuff.
The therapist also was such a good friend helping me talk through until 6am this morning I'm sure I was a very sobering experience for help, his first hours messages were from a drunk friend, an hour later he was hitting the right keys and I know longer had to decipher his words into a none drunk format.
Missing the kids like crazy and still another week to go until they arrive home. They are having an amazing time and they look great, 6weeks in France has clearly done them good, but 3weeks away from my, even though I know they are in good hands is now feeling too much. I'm planning a special day for them next week and I got 3 weeks of hugs and kisses to catch up on with them.
Husband is being his usual asshole self. He can be so selfish and blinkered at times. He still hasn't sorted out the counciling, I'm not sure what to do with it now. Don't know if I should organise it, which is the sensible thing to do but he made such a drama out of the fact he was going to do it to show his commitment to trying to fix things part of me wants to see how long he will leave it this time. I know its counter productive but I'm at that point that I would rather he proved me right.
Work has been so hard, key staff are on holiday and I'm trying to launch I new company and deal with a huge problem that has me deciding whether to close the company down or not. This week ahead will be crucial.
Going to try to sleep again. I need someone to hold me as I try to sleep, whisper they want me and tell me everything will be ok and that they are there for me. ( It beats the 'FFS can't you just chill' I got from husband last night when I got up)
5 comments:
hugs
I wish I could help with your venture in sleeping...maybe if we were closer we could go through these things together.
PY
I'd like to just say that I think you husband is just bullshitting you. I was trying to be polite but that didn't work. He's going to dick around until he thinks you've forgotten about the counseling. Maybe I'm just using my own experience but that's what it seems like to me.
Sorry you're going through so much all at once. XOXO
Thanks for harassing me. I didn't mind. I know, I know...you'll rape me and then rape me again just to be sure. ;)
ahhh, you need a cuddle and compassion x
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