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Thursday, 26 July 2012

Sad beyond belief

I was worried because she hadn't returned any calls and wasn't answering the door, my deepest fears were right. Today the drink took too much, Mum was lay of the floor, cold, white, a bottle in reaching distance and dead.

I'm so angry, my last conversation was a mixed one, full of argument about her drinking, her accusing me as being the reason Dad is wanting a divorce , empty promises and lies about going to AA. I told her about the good stuff happening as well, the children's achievements, awards at school and holiday plans, begging her to look after herself but the call ended on her blaming me for Dad leaving her.

I just wish she was in a state of mind to know I loved her so much, if I hadn't I would of walked away from the pain of coping with her alcoholism years ago.

7 comments:

naughtyangel420247 said...

FUCK:( I am so so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and sending some P&PT's during this difficult time.

Jack and Jill said...

We are so sorry for you and your family. We're sending good thoughts, for whatever they're worth to you. Know that we care for you deeply, and we offer whatever support we can give in this difficult time.

Hedone said...

I feel devastated at this news because you have been through so so much.

I can't imagine the whirlwind of emotions you are experiencing.

I am sorry for your loss and the tragedy of it all.

Hugs,
H

V said...

I'm a little behind in my blog reading and just reading this now. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's been a roller coaster for you, but I think you can take comfort in the fact that you did what you could to help with the situation and kept putting yourself out there in spite of its toll on you. You did your best. You are in my thoughts and prayers!

nitebyrd said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. Never doubt that she knew you loved her and she you. Regardless of what transpires between a mother and daughter, the bottom line is love.

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

How to fix that?
Easy.
If you wanna git OFFA
the whorizontal and
reach into God's treasure room,
follow me into the Son...

The more you shall honor Me,
the more I shall bless you.
-the Infant Jesus of Prague
(<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

trustNjesus, dood,
and wiseabove to Seventh-Heaven...
cuz the other realm aint too cool.
God bless your indelible soul.

kold_kadavr_ flatliner said...

How to fix that?
Easy.
If you wanna git OFFA
the whorizontal and
reach into God's treasure room,
follow me into the Son...

The more you shall honor Me,
the more I shall bless you.
-the Infant Jesus of Prague
(<- Czech Republic, next to Russia)

trustNjesus, dood,
and wiseabove to Seventh-Heaven...
cuz the other realm aint too cool.
God bless your indelible soul.