I met with a male friend for coffee and he distracted me for an hour, I havent seen him for over a year and it was nice to see him again. I forgot how funny he was.
I never slept much last night, there is too much going on, the little sleep I had I was shouting and talking in my sleep.
It been a real tough day at work today, so much to do and tough decissions being made. Tomorrow I have to lay people off, I get to tell my best friend who I love dearly that she has no job.
I have no choice but it doesnt make it any easier to do. I wish I could talk to someone about it all, the husband is in the huff because I told him to give me 10 minutes space when I came in the door, he was complaining I hadnt put away some shoes. He now wont even speak and is being childish saying he is givng me space.... about 100 miles would be a little better I want to yell.
I would never leave him to be so isolated in times of need, Im there when he is stressed offering helo and advice.
He knows what is going on at work, I told him last night, he poured me a drink and said I could have the remote and choose what I wanted, I looked real hard but there wasnt a "blow the fucking idot up button".
As ever I wish I hadnt told him, I wish I had chosen to isolate myself and then I can only blame myself for it. Instead I get to feel that and the let down.
4 comments:
You know, it's really a shame not to have that soft spot to fall that you're looking for. I know what that's like, to have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and have no one who's willing to help you carry it.
You have my email, love, if you ever want to bounce anything off of someone who's been there, who IS there. I feel you and I'm here.
;)
A big hug to you sweetheart.
PY
(((hugs))) You should have just hit him in the forehead with the remote and then had your drink.
you are all so great xxxx
it means so much knowing you guys are there with the tissues and the bottle of wine when i need it xx
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