I hate that I want to be loved, it would be so much easier if I could switch that side of me off. In recent years the one man that I felt truly loved me, who really wanted the raw real me, no compromises, I can not have. He lives the other end of the country and there are so many reasons why we should and can not be together.
The husband says he loves me but has not shown it for years, words are too easy for me it is the actions that occur without request of necessity.
In recent weeks I met a man who within days thought he was in love with me, my sexual nature, my determination for life, my passion for work and commitment to my family; but he wasn't, I told him either the novelty of me or his cock would rub off... the novelty went first.
Other than my Dad the only other man to say he loved me was M. But he never knew the other side to me, so it is unfair to say he truly loved me as it was subject to there being any impacts of reality.
I think I am too complicated for most men to love entirely.I can also struggle to find the words to explain how I feel when I'm with a lover, the man who did truly love me used to say I didn't need to, that he could hear everything I couldn't say to him through my eyes.
I'm successful at work and feisty, I don't suffer fools easy and love to entertain the room. But at home I am the polar opposite unless needed to be. I like a man to be a gent, carry the bag, open the door, take my coat.
In the bedroom I like to be submissive and naughty, but I'm extremely tactile and affectionate and need that in return. However if the mood takes me I'm happy to take the lead.
I am a mother first, then myself second. I adore my children and have so much passion for what they do.
I think it will take some amazing man to love me, want me as I am and no compromise, I hope that when I am ready to be in love again that I find him.
4 comments:
Every time I read something of yours I think, I could have written that! I know exactly what you mean.
I hope you find him too. You deserve him.
I'm sorry I can't give you my all but what I can give you can have it all. xxxxxx
Life is so much harder when you can't be your true self. I do understand where you are coming from. I wish you the best and enjoy the one you're with....the real one will show up when it is time.
The naughty part of you is just as important as the mother is in you.
Don't give up babe!!!
PY
A man that loves you because of who you are! Yes, I hope that you will find him. You do deserve a man like that.
Post a Comment