Mum wants to be friends again but I can't find it in me to do it. I don't know if I'm doing that for selfish reasons or because I believe she needs to know what damage she has done so she tries to stick with the doctors programme.
I had to drop off one the kids instruments at their house this morning and she must of overheard dad asking if I was coming in, no I wasn't, I was dropping the stuff at the door and going. As I walked up the drive she was there waiting. As I put down the case she got hold of me to give me a hug and a kiss, saying "aren't you going to say hello" I pulled away said goodbye and walked back to the car.
It aches me much, drove back home numb.
Can't cope with too much more.
Dad has been a fool and moved back in and into the bed. He says he reminds her that he is only there as a carer but I know his actions speak louder than words,in her mind all is back to normal and forgiven.
I've taken a step back It's exhausting and draining, I'm running on reserves now and I don't know how long I can last.
5 comments:
Huge hugs, my sweet girl xxxxxx
She totally doesn't get it. For things to be semi-okay, she must take responsibility for what she did and she hasn't.
Keep your resolve, hun. You cannot continue to let her hurt you even though she's your mother.
It's tough love for your mom but also you need to protect yourself. You can only take so much.
A mother's love should not come with such rules and apologies.
Hang in there.
PY
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