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Thursday, 26 July 2012

Sad beyond belief

I was worried because she hadn't returned any calls and wasn't answering the door, my deepest fears were right. Today the drink took too much, Mum was lay of the floor, cold, white, a bottle in reaching distance and dead.

I'm so angry, my last conversation was a mixed one, full of argument about her drinking, her accusing me as being the reason Dad is wanting a divorce , empty promises and lies about going to AA. I told her about the good stuff happening as well, the children's achievements, awards at school and holiday plans, begging her to look after herself but the call ended on her blaming me for Dad leaving her.

I just wish she was in a state of mind to know I loved her so much, if I hadn't I would of walked away from the pain of coping with her alcoholism years ago.