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Monday 17 May 2010

sorry i couldnt blog

Its all been a bit too much the last week I havent dared to stop and think.

I think the next week isnt going to be any easier but for new reasons.

Dad left Mum yesterday and the world imploded. She threatened to kill herself to him, call my brother and said he had hit her, spoke with me and said it was the best thing that could of happened!!! I was sat in shock and realising what a horrid disease Alcohol is. She said, totally believing herself that it was about time Dad got a grip as he was losing the plot and on the verge of driving her to drink!!!! seriously!!!! Dad left because he couldn't take watching her slowly kill herself.

She confessed to falling of the wagon this week a tad, well it was a 1ltr bottle of Porcheen 70%proof and she nearly choked to death. I suppose that does constitute more than normal but it seems she forgot she was also drunk 4 days solid the previous week.

The hardest thing is keeping quiet, I want to scream at her and tell her what she is doing but the experts say i'd do more harm than good she has to work it out herself when she is good and ready.

My brother rings me and tells me I've abandoned her and the im a bad person. It easy to have that opinion from over 300 miles away and not having to pic up the pieces every day. Not having to rush to the hospital when she is so drunk she has fallen into the road and accusing the person that stopped to help her of pushing her. He didnt have to hold her wrists as she bled while she wished me dead as I sat waiting for the ambulance. He didnt have to have her sectioned.

Im hoping she will see the light but optomism is hard to come by this week.

2 comments:

Florida Dom said...

Have you tried Al-Anon meetings. You can meet people dealing with the same things you are.

FD

heelsnstocking said...

I have, but until my mum decides she is ready to fix things I have to just keep moving forward. I found they were meeting to to enjoy the pity of it all and its not for me. I have to stay positive and take action.