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Wednesday 4 August 2010

holiday

Needing to be home now, I've had enough. Husband driving me mad and Mother is even worse. The first week my Mum cried more than she didn't. Spent most of my time distracting the kids and soothing my mother even though at at times I wanted to slap her. I've had to say some harsh thing but now is the time to be honest with her.
Funny thing is one day she said I deserved to be sainted for puTting up with hubby and on the same day hubby said I deserved a knighthood for putting up with my mum! It would make me laugh if I was so scared I would never stop and hysteria would start!


A week ago my dad turned up, he was missing the kids to much. The aren't arguing (they are in the middle of a split) but they are both being martyr, I'm ready to bang there heads together!!

They are both trying to be the most hurt, the most left out the most sacrificial. I went out today for an hour alone, I was ready to scream. I've had a headache for days and its all of them that's causing it.

Yesterdays In The Real World post took it out of me as well. I spent most of last night up worrying if I'm doing the best for my children. I came to the conclusion I'm doing my best and I can do no more, nothing I do for me effects them negatively so I suppose I just got to wait and see what adults I produce.

Beam me up Scotty (and deliver me home)

4 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

Oh, I feel for you. I know what it's like to have to keep it all together, to be the only sane one where everyone else is insane. It would be nice to have a soft spot to fall sometime, hmm?

Today I tweeted, "Wishing I had a knight in shining armor instead of a retard in a tin foil suit." If I find where they keep those, I'll let you know; we can trade in our retards for knights!

I loved your Real World post yesterday; I thought it was fabulous. You are doing the best you can with what you have. No one can possibly question that you have the best interest of your children as your first priority.

It's natural to worry whether you're doing the right thing; that's what good mothers do. You are a good mother. You may not be perfect, but your love for your kids is perfect.

Hang in there, Mama. Things will get better.

Playfully Yours said...

First off, you are doing what is best for you at this time. Things may change and doing something different will feel like the most natural thing to do. Don't take the comments personally it's opinions, do what you need to do for now.

Hey you two pick me up on the way to the trade-in lot, please....I must get me a knight all this damn tin foil is getting crinkled.
PY

Drive safe

nitebyrd said...

I gave up on the "Knight on a White Horse" long ago, just want a man that's is a MAN!

You are doing the absolute best for your children because you are reaching out to take care of yourself. Unless you are feeling fulfilled, desired and happy, you won't be able to care for anyone. By taking care of your needs, you can take care of theirs.

I agree with both your mother and your husband, you deserve sainthood for putting up with them!

(((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

(Don't know why this is just now showing up on my RSS feed.)

Anyhoo. It had to be rough dealing with those two for your vacation but still you had time away from work and got to enjoy the kiddies. I'm glad of that for you.

You seem to have kept the little bit of sanity that you possessed before you went on vacation (lol) so I'd say the vaca was a success!

Hugs,
Hedone