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Friday 19 March 2010

Why its a bad day


Having a terrible few days personally so not had any time for myself. I so need to disappear alone for even a few hours, some quiet time to think. I doubt if I had the time today I could even achieve an orgasm as my mind isn't in the right space.

I have a place I love to go, its a beach, a perfect place, I've only shared the place once with someone else, we stood there the tide was out, the sun had set but the moon was bright and reflecting off the sea. The wind wasn't too kind but that help, it made him hold me tighter, it made me feel so safe, I often go there when my mind gets to cluttered or I feel overwhelmed, that's where I need to be tonight.

Mother and lover are AWOL, Mum disappeared yesterday after a tearful phone call with me, she turned up later and put the house up for sail and announced a divorce from my father, which is actually what he wants but she was drunk and she think she is playing a game, she doesn't know she has already lost. Then today just as I was about to go see my daughter receive an award I got another call from her saying how despertate and sad she is and the she needed me. I turned up sacrificing my daughters event and leaving her alone to receive abuse. I left after a few minutes to salvage the thing I should never of caught sight of that day. I got there just in time thank god.

Since then my day has been littered with drunk phone calls, tears and thoughtless apologies.

I sat waiting for my lover to appear online and he hasn't turned up, he hasn't emailed, he hasn't bothered. I'm off to bed in hope tomorrow will redress the balance and be a wonderful day!

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