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Tuesday 20 July 2010

Packed but not ready

All anyone has done today has told me to "stop frowning", I can't!

"Are you excited for your holidays" they ask, I've smiled and said I will be when Ive finished packing, its the most I cant muster at the moment.

Good news is I've managed to fix a few work based problems so at least that part of my world should not implode.

Dad is ill, in a state as he knows he has fucked up at work big style, he is grateful Ive fixed it but not coping well. There house goes up for sale on Thursday, Mum does know.

As for Mum, every day this week she has been on in tears. My brother has told her unless she admits she is a drunk he will not tolerate her any more in his life. Tough love perhaps but its not helping her. She can hardly speak without tears falling down her face and tomorrow morning from 8am she is my property for 3 weeks.

On a personal level, Ive never felt so alone in my life. But I wish I was alone for the next 3 weeks.

I keep focusing my thoughts on the time with the kids I know that's going to be amazing, it will be my everything.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

your kids will get you through this

one thing I learnt through Al anon is that you have to look after yourself and your kids first and foremost

I try to live by the Serenity Pray (not always successfully but it helps)

God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.


hugs n x

Playfully Yours said...

You focus on those kids and all will work itself out.
They will make you smile and you know it.

nitebyrd said...

When you are in a situation like this, you HAVE to focus solely on what will get you through. (((HUGS)))